Trials and Tribulations

So I’ve not updated in quite a while. The thing’s that I’ve been a very little busy bee. In my quest to live a drama free existence, I have been met with a lot of hurdles. What do I mean? Allow me to clarify.

Rewind to last year 2008. I made a resolution at the beginning of the year not to have sex until I had been dating a guy for at least three months. Needless to say that for a while it was hard, especially when so many cute guys really want to screw my head off but I resisted. But then, sometime during September, on my way to work, in a rickety ass danfo bus, I met Kenny. Two days after that, I met Godwin. Two completely different guys; I was absolutely crazy about them. It was obvious they both wanted me; I mean really wanted me, but I had made up my mind to be true to my resolution.

1st January, 2009 at exactly 12:01am I kissed Kenny Happy New Year. One kiss led to another and before you know it; well you all know what happens; I don’t need to paint a picture. Later that day, around 10:00pm in the evening, I kissed Godwin a Happy New Year and you guessed it, we did the deed. So by January 2nd, 2009, I had had sex, with these two amazing guys in my life. Fast forward to March 2009; I noticed Godwin was withdrawing from me. I did everything I was supposed to do, but when it’s not meant to be it’s not meant to be. So by April 2009, Godwin had unofficially dumped in a way. If I say I wasn’t glad in some small way that would be a lie. This gave me the opportunity to focus everything I had on Kenny; a decision I have yet to regret.

May 2009, my ex boyfriend (Hussain), apparently still loves me. He wants us to get back together and he wants me to dump my other boyfriend(s). We’ve had this on again off again relationship for the past two years and everybody thinks I’m still in love with him. That’s had to believe when I was never in love with the guy to begin with. Am I attracted to the guy? Yes. I mean he’s cute and the sex’s great but I’ve had a lot of sex in this my short existence and I mean a lot of sex and one thing I’ve realized is that good sex does not make a good relationship. So definitely, I blew him off and as expected, I get labeled a bitch; AGAIN. I’m used to it by now and frankly, I had Kenny; and I was not going to mess things up.

June 2009. It’s Kesha’s birthday. I’ve decided to throw him a party in my place. We’re inviting the usual gang. As usual, I enforce my “invitation invites only you” rule. Want to guess who breaks my rule? Hussain. Want to guess who he brings? His boyfriend; He actually brought the guy to my house. Was that supposed to make me jealous? Honestly, it might have worked if the boy was actually better looking than me. I’m not bragging. Why should I; no why would I be jealous of that? Anyway I had the last laugh because Hussain ended up getting a little drama he did not expect.

We fast forward to August 2009. I finally get to talk to Sola, and we really hit it off. I’m actually finding myself falling for him. We kiss. I see stars. Funniest thing is that I actually don’t feel guilty that what I’m doing might actually be considered cheating on Kenny. I love Kenny and he loves me. I’ve finally realized that. And no matter who I meet, that is never going to change. But I’m also developing strong feelings for Sola. Unfortunately, I’m not sure whether he feels the same about me. I decide to take things slow see how they work out. But I can’t get him out of my head.

September – October 2009; Life’s been good. My friends and I are getting along splendidly, the dance group’s doing well, Kenny and I have been together a year and still going strong, Sola and I are still taking it slow; Generally Life’s good and most especially drama free. So what’s new? Well, I’ve been hanging out with my straight pal Ade. He’s one of my fag hags. He totally loves gay people. We’re cool. We have so much in common. He’s like the big brother I always wished I had. I travel to Abuja for work and he comes as well for holidays. I couldn’t be happier, because I’m new to this place and don’t know anybody so it’s cool that I’ve got a friend with me.

Friday, October 23rd, 2009. We’re in my hotel room watching some gay themed movies I just downloaded over the week. I start teasing him that he’s taking his job as a fag hag way to seriously; that I don’t think it was included in the job description for him to watch gay movies. And he replies that although it wasn’t in the job description, he loves his job or better yet he loves who he’s working for. I think he’s just joking probably because we’ve downed half a bottle of absolute vodka and the movie we just watched was the mushy kind so I just begin laughing hysterically. He tells me that he’s serious and then gets this serious look on his face. You can imagine my surprise when next thing you know, his lips are on mine and his tongue is finding its way into my mouth. What’s more surprising is the fact I actually start to kiss him back. I’ve always had this policy of not doing straight guys. Too complicated. But there I was, making out with my straight friend. Fortunately, we were both too wasted to actually do anything apart from kiss. Morning comes and but unexpectedly the awkwardness doesn’t. I expect him to be all silent and shit, but he isn’t. Instead he’s hugging me and tells me how much of a great kisser I am and I’m like “okay, what’s happening here?” He tells me that he’s bi and that he’s wanted to do that for the longest period of time and that he wants us to date.

So here I am. I’ve come so far in this past year yet no matter what I do the drama just keeps on finding me. I wondering is it not possible for a gay man to have a life that’s not an excerpt from a movie. Can we never escape the drama? More for me to contemplate as I also think what my next move is going be

For Real

Belthazar